Well, it wasn’t very long – I officially closed the gap on my resume. You know the one – the bleak, full of assumptions, possible pity gap that says to any prospective employer you’ve been unemployed for X amount of days. So Hooray! I am employed again! (No, no, it’s not in Florida or the Virgin Islands – although, I did take a trip through Florida the week before I started just to see if it would so captivate me so much that I just couldn’t leave it… But, no, although breathtaking, and the beach – Damn, the beach – I might just be too proud to live in Texas… so I came back… for now.)
I’ve been hired as a compliance officer for a Mortgage company. Bank to banking?! Well, yes, but no. I was very hesitant on taking this position since my banking job sucked so much life out of me… but this is different. Free from sales, and a LOT of legal reading, I think (I hope) I’m in hog heaven. I mean, I was enrolled in Paralegal studies to begin the same day that I ended up starting this job… and this is a ton of legal reading and understanding… Sometimes the universe/God works that way, yeah? (And sometimes it doesn’t. Because the last year it sure as hell didn’t. As my best friend in the whole world said, “Sometimes the Universe can be a dick.” And yes, I concur. Sometimes, Universe, you’re a dick. But sometimes, you’re pretty cool.) 🙂 I mean, a compliance officer isn’t necessarily the most beloved position in a company. You’re usually the one telling people “No,” and “You can’t,” and “Guess what awesomely hard working gang?! You can’t do your job like that anymore! You now have to do it another way!” So, it might be perfect. I mean, psychology experiments EVERY DAY on how to keep people motivated, happy and excited while simultaneously pissing them off beyond belief?! Ironically, yes please! (I’m sure I’ll change my tune on this later on)… Coupled with few interruptions at my desk, and delicious learning and research…
Wow, am I really an artist? Yes… yes I am…
Which is a huge revelation… I have realized over the course of these last few months, that I actually prefer technical, detailed analysis with a (semi) definite conclusion. I like reading between the lines. I like finding the missing link. I like soduku. I like finding that little, hat-wearing-white-and-red-striped-shirted-asshole. (I will find you, Waldo. I will.) I like it to be organized, and founded. I like the work to actually do something. I like to see results. And that is exactly what differentiated me from the current art community. I needed to know why a composition works. I needed to unlock or uncover a formula for acceptable, good art. I needed to know why and what they were saying. I couldn’t see results. And that’s not what they want. They want creators, not “know-how-it-all-works-ers”… And my pieces are highly technical. I have thought about every stroke. I have attempted to re-create reality, because in reality I see the defined. And it’s just not popular anymore. And besides, I need to know that my work produces results. I mean, it could, but I don’t live on “coulds…”
But all this to say, it’s only been almost 3 weeks in the compliance world. It’s really still to early to tell in all honesty. I might pick up the gap again… And that’s okay. But I’m having a thrilling ride learning in the meantime (besides, I might just enter in the stock market and buy the art industry back into what I like it to be… I joke! I joke…). But for now, the learning is addictive. I truly, truly am addicted to learning. My only fear – my greatest fear in life – is not using this knowledge for good. And that, is and will always be, my greatest pursuit. So cheers to figuring out the best way to use all this – to filling in the greatest gap in my heart and head – how to do stuff that’s important.